A Repeated Request

She looked at me with sadness in her eyes and defeat echoing in her voice and said, “I’m tired of putting myself out there and getting my heart stomped on.”

My heart broke for her. I knew how she felt because I felt the same way. Every time a new guy has entered the picture, I have tried to remain optimistic. I have wanted to believe that maybe this one would be different, maybe this one would work. Instead like my friend, I always seem to be the one left with my heart broken. I always seem to be the one left feeling like I just wasn’t enough. 

How many times are we supposed to keep trying before throwing in the towel and telling God that we give up? How long do we keep praying for something when it appears that the answer is always going to be “no?”

How long do we keep praying that we’ll find the “one?” How long do we keep praying that our prodigal child comes home? How long do we keep praying that our marriage will get better? How long do we keep praying that we’ll have a baby? How long do we keep praying that our loved ones will come to know Jesus?

I could make a list of hundreds of requests that people have prayed over and over about and the answer never seems to change. In fact, sometimes the situation feels like it gets even harder. It’s difficult not to get discouraged and question whether or not you should even continue praying about it. Sometimes the words to a repeated prayer begin to feel empty; sometimes you don’t even know what to pray anymore because you feel like you’ve used all the words up.  

I sometimes wonder if God grows tired of my repeated request that He will fulfill my desire to be a wife and a mom. But I believe in my heart that He doesn’t.

Then Jesus told His disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. –Luke 18:1 (NIV)

God wants us to bring everything to Him---our dreams, burdens, joys, sorrows, and hopes. I am learning more and more how important it is to be completely real with God, so I tell Him my frustrations, I ask Him questions and I even tell Him when I’m angry at Him.

He is mighty and He is strong---God does not tire at hearing repeated requests. In fact, I have to believe that it brings Him joy when we continue bringing the same petition to Him. For in continuing to bring it to Him, we are choosing to trust in His awesome power. We are showing our belief that He continues to work miracles and do the impossible. God really can do anything---may we continue to remember that and to lay all of our requests at His feet no matter how many times we bring the same ones.      

Opening Doors

Photo from Gallery 32 Photography

Writing doesn't come easy to me, but I love it. I love the process of piecing words together to express my thoughts and feelings. Throughout the last few years, writing has become therapeutic to me. It helps me sort out my feelings and process things. Since my broken engagement in February, I have been writing a lot and God has been opening doors. I have been praying that God will transform my pain and hurt into good things for Him and I believe that some of the opportunities He's placing at my feet right now are just that---opportunities to share my story and how He's helping me with my struggles and in turn shine His light.

One of those opportunities is that I am now a contributing blogger with iBelieve.com! This site is an amazing resource for Christian women because their focus is on writers and bloggers sharing their personal stories and what God has taught them through their struggles and their daily lives. The devotions, blogs and articles on this site cover a wide range of topics and are meant to serve as encouragement for today's Christian woman. I am so honored to be a small part of it!

Another opportunity I'm excited about is happening today! I am extremely grateful to be sharing a little bit of my story on the For Unmarried Christian Women blog! I stumbled upon Chelsea's blog about a month or so ago and was immediately encouraged reading her words and that there was a site for somebody like me. I'm sharing a little bit about my story and also about trusting in God's power of resurrection.

I am learning more and more how important it is that we share our stories. When we share our stories, we find out we're not alone, we find out we're not the only ones, we find out that there's somebody else like us. Sharing deepens relationships, it encourages and most importantly of all it provides a framework for God's light to be seen.

Following His Footsteps: A Lesson in Trust

Photo from Passions Photography

Sometimes I feel like a little girl trying to run ahead of her Father because she’s so eager to find out where He’s leading her. At the slightest indication, I begin to imagine scenarios of where my life might be headed. I begin to think that I know exactly where God is leading me and I start to make plans.

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. 

–Proverbs 19:21 (NIV)

Never has that verse struck such a chord in me as it does as I sit here writing this. Today was supposed to be my wedding day, the day I had dreamt about since I was a little girl, the day that I would walk down an aisle to begin a new chapter in my life with the man that I loved. 

That was my plan, but it wasn’t God’s. 

He has made it evident to me that it wasn’t supposed to work out, and while I am sad at what was lost, God has also filled me with a peace that I’ve never felt before.

He’s using this season of life to teach me lesson after lesson and one of the biggest is He’s made me see my lack of trust in His plan. I’ve always said that I’ve trusted God and I’ve always believed that I trusted God, but I’ve come to realize that while I have truly wanted to trust Him, I have always felt like I had to maintain some control over my life’s plan.  

He’s teaching me that I really don’t have control over anything.  

He’s teaching me that He is working even when I can’t see it or feel it.

He’s teaching me that there is a reason for everything even when it hurts.

He’s teaching me to pray big, pray specifically and believe that He will come through.

He’s teaching me to let go and let Him do what He’s going to do. He doesn’t need my help.

What He does want is my trust in Him alone. He wants me to be obedient and He wants me to slow down and follow Him instead of trying to rush ahead.

Instead of running past Him, I’m learning to slow down and walk behind my loving Father following His footsteps every step of the way. 

A Word of Advice

Today's Blog Every Day in May challenge is to share a piece of advice.

One of the biggest things for me recently is just listening to my gut. If something doesn't feel right, if it doesn't feel settled in your heart, then that's probably the Holy Spirit trying to lead you away from that situation. I think so often it's easy for us, well me anyway, to push those feelings of uneasiness aside blaming them on other things especially when I can't pinpoint why I'm feeling like I'm feeling. When in reality if I would have just listened to my gut from the get-go, the situation might not have had to end like it did.

So my piece of advice is to listen to your gut, always listen to the Holy Spirit and pay attention to the direction it's leading.

Blog Every Day in May: Fear

Linking up today with the Blog Every Day in May Challenge

Day 7, Tuesday-The thing(s) you're most afraid of

I think most people probably have very similar lists when it comes to writing down what you're most afraid of. There are always a few big ones that come to mind for most of us if we're being honest. Here are some of my fears including some serious ones and not-so-serious:

-Losing people I love
-Dying
-The unknown
-Really deep water (the ocean)
-Huge spiders
-Public speaking
-Tornadoes
-Complete darkness
-Anything involving needles
-Scary movies
-Watching the news which often seems like a scary movie

Blog Every Day in May Challenge

Yesterday afternoon I worked on a little hand-lettering project shown above for my new office/studio room. I'm not quite finished with it yet, but it's coming along. Since I didn't blog yesterday, I'm combining today and yesterday's posts for the Blog Every Day in May challenge together ... two for one. :)

Yesterday, we were supposed to be sharing our love for one of our blogger friends. I have to admit I never really had any friends that blogged until I attended the Influence Network conference last fall. While there I made some connections with several different people, but there was one special dinner that made it obvious to all of us there that God had orchestrated the meeting. Those three girls were Lisa, Brittany and Erin. We all four originally had different dinner plans but ended up changing them. I had never met any of them, but we instantly clicked and we continue to keep in touch with each other via social media. These three are such sweet, strong Christian women and you should definitely go check out their blogs. 

Today's question in the challenge is "If you couldn't answer with your job, how would you answer "what do you do?" My answer? I write, create, dream, believe, love, wish, hope and follow Jesus, the One who gives me peace.

Blog Every Day in May: Favorite Quote

I'm linking up again with Blog Every Day in May.

May 4: Favorite quote and why you love it

I am amazed by the power of words and how God can speak to me through a single sentence. It's often through words by other people, whether spoken or written, that God has encouraged me during difficult times in my life.

I favorite a lot of quotes on Twitter and a little over a month ago around Easter there was a quote from Pastor Pete Wilson that spoke to my heart.

"The cross is proof that God doesn't always change the circumstance but He ALWAYS has a purpose for the circumstance." -Pastor Pete Wilson

Those words reminded me that for everything that happens, God truly does have a reason. God watched His son be killed on a cross and while that had to have brought horrific pain to Him, He knew He couldn't stop it because if He did we all would be forever lost. God knew the whole picture; He knew what would happen if He didn't let Jesus die. He also knew the amazing resurrection that was to come.

It reminds me that while there are things that are difficult in life, God sees all. He knows why they have to happen and He also knows the beauty that will come of them.